Breakfast Burritos to Go Recipe

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Disclaimer: These breakfast burritos are not fancy. These breakfast burritos are not gourmet. These breakfast burritos are not haute Tex-Mex cuisine. These breakfast burritos are exactly that: breakfast burritos, and I often make them for my husband and kids when they’re at the pens working cattle at breakfast time. They’re as simple as it gets…and you know what? SO AM I! Yep, that’s me—simple. Just give me a remote control, a laptop, a pedicure, a manicure, a deep tissue massage, a pint of Coffee Haagen Dazs, an unlimited shopping spree at B & H, a Toni Collette movie, and a stack of Archie comic books and I’ll stay out of your hair for at least eight minutes. See? I’m as simple as they come.

My point is, if you’re looking for fancy chipotle-asiago-chorizo-poblano-fancy-o breakfast burritos this morning…you’ve come to the wrong wife and mother. And I’ve tried that route; believe me, I’ve tried it. The problem is, my family—my husband and four spawn—aren’t jiggy wit’ chipotle-asiago-chirozo-poblano-fancy-o stuff. They want it straight up and Middle-Americano, without a lot of adornment. But the great thing about this recipe is, it’s basic. And you can use the basic method to create whatever degree of amped-up breakfast burrito you’re in the mood for. As the recipe proceeds, I’ll let you know the things I’d add to the mix if I were living in a tiny apartment in Chicago by myself, just to give you some more ideas.

Let’s hurry this along—they’ve got to be horseback by dawn!

The Cast of Characters: Flour Tortillas, Browned Breakfast Sausage, Breakfast Potatoes, Monterey Jack Cheese, Eggs, Chives, Seasoned Salt, Pepper, and whatever else you want to throw in there.

Let’s rewind for just a second; we need to make the make some breakfast potatoes. Follow my basic recipe for those, except this time we’re going to add in some red and green bell peppers. (You can also use frozen diced potatoes if you’d like, but I never have things like that in my freezer when I need ’em.)

Basically, I sautee coarsely chopped red and green bell pepper over high heat…

…Until the peppers get a tiny bit black.

Remove them from the pan, then dice some cooked (I boil them until tender but still a bit firm) red or russet potatoes. Throw those in the same pan and cook until brown…

Then add in the peppers and onions. Cook for about ten minutes, or until nice and golden brown, then set aside.

Hello, Breakfast Potatoes. I love you…and I always will. Just sit tight for a moment, okay? Your life’s purpose shall be revealed very shortly.

Now, in the same dadgum skillet (we ranch wives like to use the same dadgum skillet), brown a pound of breakfast sausage. When I say “breakfast sausage,” I mean pork sausage that’s typically cut into patties and fried. For breakfast. Think Jimmie Dean. Think J.C. Potter. Think that stuff band geeks sell.

Oh, how I love band geeks. They’re my life.

NOTE: You can use whatever sausage makes your skirt fly up. Chorizo! Chorizo would work swimmingly.

When it’s browned, drain off the grease. I know, I know…that’s not like me. But don’t worry. I’ll make up for it.

IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE: When you’re cooking with your friend, Hyacinth, and her seven-year-old boy brings a frog into the kitchen, don’t panic. And DON’T throw it in the skillet with the breakfast sausage. You’ll regret it. DON’T DO IT!!!!

Now, crack about a dozen eggs into a bowl, or whatever ol’ thing is clean.

And please don’t panic: THIS RECIPE CAN BE HALVED. Not everybody eats as much as my family…I’m trying to remember that.

Whisk the eggs, then add in a bunch of chopped chives, some seasoned salt, some black pepper, and plenty (at least a cup, but more is better) of grated Monterey Jack.

NOTE: Feel free to also add cayenne pepper, Tabasco, Picante Sauce, cilantro, and/or another kind of cheese. Caciotta cheese is quickly becoming my favorite, but my family quickly forms a picket line if I add anything weird.

Okay—back to the skillet! Throw some breakfast potatoes in with the drained sausage…

Stir well to combine over low heat.

Now pour the egg/cheese mixture over the top.

Now, THE KEY HERE is not to overstir/overmesswith. Particularly if you use homemade breakfast potatoes, the potatoes will fall apart and become mushy if you stir it around too much. (Frozen diced potatoes hold their shape better.) Just keep the eggs cooking over low heat (so they won’t brown), and turn them occasionally to cook.

A few minutes later, this is what you’ll have! As always, check the seasoning to make sure it’s scrumptious enough. Add in more salt, pepper, or picante sauce, if that suits you. The point is to have everything already inside, so The Hungry can simply unwrap ’em and eat ’em.

I like to add a ton more cheese at this point. But that’s just me.

To assemble, simply spoon a generous portion of the egg mixture into a warm, soft flour tortilla. And if it were me, I’d throw on some more picante or Pico de Gallo, for goodness sake. And because I’m rebellious, I’d spoon on some green salsa and maybe even a bit of sour cream.

But these were for my family. So I left them well enough alone.

To roll them up (I can hear you saying “DUH”. You don’t know I can hear you, but I do!) just tuck in the sides…

And roll ’em up, trying to keep them as tight as possible.

Then, I just wrap the little sweethearts in individual sheets of foil and, if I’m just walking to the pens by our house, I’ll place them in a napkin-lined basket. Then I’ll adjust my hair ribbon and tie a chiffon scarf around my just-fixed hair. Then I’ll wake up.

Another thing you can do if you’re transporting these to a hungry crowd is to simply place them, toasty and warm, in a small cooler. They’ll keep one another warm in the process.

Enjoy!